I’m a sore loser. I abhor it with everything I have, and I do everything I can to win in every area of life. Some label me “over-competitive,” but really, I’m just allergic to losing. It burns me to lose – at anything. My best friend beat me in 3 straight games of Madden years ago, and I boycotted the game for six years because of the poor taste that loss left in my spirit.

But this morning, as I was working on outreach for my upcoming book, a close friend asked me, “what does it mean to win?” At first, I had my instant “to come out on top of a situation” answer because my mind has always been geared toward coming out on top.

But I’ve been sitting here the past few hours staring at this blank screen contemplating on what it means to Win.  And it hit me – not all “wins” in my life have been “victories.”

I used to think “doing it my way,” was winning. It cost me partnerships and business deals. I used to think “freedom to act and do as I please” was winning, it cost me great relationships. I used to think “life with no structure or parameters” was winning, it cost me the most valuable treasure of all – TIME.

So, there’s more to winning than what’s on the scoreboard. Sure, those may be wins on paper, but a win on paper doesn’t mean a win in life. With the new book, I want to help people become winners in all assets of life by unleashing in them a Wintality (Winning + Mentality).

As I sit here and reflect on it, I believe there are three components to ensure a true victory, a real Win, in life.

Don’t Compromise Character

I always know when I’m living wrong. I remember distinct times back in me early entrepreneurial days by taking shortcuts thinking, ehh, it won’t hurt anyone. There were times I treated people poorly because it made me feel better about myself at the time. Looking back, I realized I was so lost that the reason I tried to make them feel bad about themselves was that I didn’t’ know how to lift myself up to their level. That crabs in a bucket mentality never works. When it was all said and done, the only person I hurt was myself.

Sometimes I said “yes” to some business opportunities via services that I had no clue how to provide. Now I don’t think this is inherently wrong because I always believed I could learn anything and deliver. 95% of the time I did, but that other 5% still burns me because it hurt my credibility and tarnished my word with some people. I bet on myself and came up short, and those character losses hurt the worst of all.

Don’t Cross Your People

We all make mistakes. There are unintentional methods of hurting people where you are giving your best but just made a mistake. I’m not referring to this type. I’m talking about the type of crossing where you come to a decision point and make a cognitive decision to hurt the other person in lieu of your desires. You can’t be more loyal to an opportunity than you are to your team.

Thankfully, it’s not in my DNA to cross people I care about, but I’ve been crossed, maliciously. It always comes back to hurt the other party. I’ve also seen others get betrayed, for money, for power, and for ego.

When you cross someone or step on someone’s back to get to a new level, you must realize your new “platform,” built on the backs of others, is only sustainable while the other people allow themselves to be walked on. But eventually they stand up – and you fall…Hard.

Achieve the Intended Result

You can win in the short-term by just getting the result. But to be known as a WINNER in life you must achieve your intended result while also holding the principles of maintaining your integrity and remaining loyal to your team.

Isn’t that what life’s about? Lasting victory? What’s the point of winning if everyone that knows you doesn’t respect you and there’s no one left to celebrate with? A win for yourself at the expense of others is not a victory – it’s a setup for immense failure.

Pursue Life Victories. Become an Ultimate Champion.

What’ winning mean to you?

#wintality