The Power of Saying "No" to Grow
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I want to share a lesson I learned this past weekend from an unexpected source: my 1.5 year old puppy, Bear. Watching him grow up has been eye-opening. If you’re not familiar with Australian Shepherds, they’re highly intelligent dogs—sometimes, I wonder if it’s a gift or a curse! One of Bear’s quirks is his very selective hearing. He knows exactly what he wants to respond to and, more importantly, what he won’t do. When I say words he loves like "treat" or mention one of his favorite trails, he’s all ears, sprinting toward me in excitement. But if it’s something he doesn’t like—say, going outside in the heat—he’s as stubborn as a mule.
It’s funny, but his behavior holds a valuable lesson about growth and progress. You see, a big part of achieving success isn’t just about what you’re willing to do. It’s also about what you’re not willing to do.
Draw the Line: What Will You Say "No" To?
Bear has made a hard line in his doggy brain: “I’m not going out in this heat, no matter what.” That got me thinking about how we approach our own lives. In our pursuit of success or happiness, we always talk about what we want to achieve. But how often do we ask ourselves what we’re not willing to do?
For example, I used to say “yes” to everything because I thought that would drum up opportunities. But I spread myself so thin that I was barely making progress. I was running around in circles, busy but not effective. Then I came across a book called The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, which changed my perspective. The author talks about how saying “no” more often isn’t about missing out—it’s about clearing your path so you can find that “absolute yes” that’s perfect for you.
If something isn’t an absolute “yes,” then it needs to be a firm “no.” There’s no room for “maybe.”
Action Step 1: Evaluate Your Maybes
Take a look at your commitments and decisions. How many times have you said “maybe” to something you knew wasn’t right for you? When you’re not upfront with a firm “no,” people can misinterpret your “maybe” as a “yes,” which only leads to delayed disappointment.
Start embracing the power of a definitive “no.” You don’t owe anyone an explanation. Simply align your decisions with your goals, and you’ll find that saying “no” more often creates space for the right opportunities to say “yes” to.
Find What Excites You
If Bear hears a word associated with his favorite trail, he loses his mind in excitement. He’ll start running around, jumping up, and trying to grab my attention. It’s his clear way of saying, “That’s what I want!” And guess what? He positions himself perfectly to make sure we hit that trail.
I ask you: Do you know what excites you? What gets you out of bed in the morning? Too many people I’ve met don’t seem excited about anything. They go through the motions without any passion.
Action Step 2: Identify What Gets You Excited
Reflect on what truly lights a fire in you. Is it a specific type of work, hobby, or pursuit? Whatever it is, put yourself in a position to experience more of it. If Bear wants to go on his favorite trail, he puts himself in the right place at the right time. Are you doing the same with your goals?
Position Yourself for Success
Once Bear decides what he wants, he positions himself to make it happen. He comes and sits in my peripheral view, trying to look as cute as possible to catch my attention. He’s not just waiting around; he’s actively working toward what he wants.
The same should be true for us. It’s not enough to have a goal—we have to position ourselves to achieve it. If you’re looking to find clients, figure out where they are and show up there. If you’re seeking peace, get away from the noise. It’s all about intentional positioning.
Action Step 3: Strategically Position Yourself
Ask yourself, “Am I positioning myself in a way that aligns with what I want?” If you’re searching for new opportunities or relationships, are you putting yourself in the right places to find them? Don’t just sit around and hope for the best—actively place yourself in situations that align with your goals.
The Path to Peace, Fulfillment, and Joy
It’s not just about what we do—it’s about what we avoid. It’s about saying “no” to what doesn’t serve us and positioning ourselves to receive what excites us. Be intentional about where you place your energy, and make a habit of turning down distractions. Only then can you create the life you want.
Have a fantastic day, and remember: Don’t be afraid to say “no.”
If you want to take your team, event, or conference to the next level, book Baylor to speak. For more mindset motivation, check out his 10-minute-a-day podcast, Shark Theory. Purchase Baylor's self-development books here. Mindset Matters: Let’s make yours unstoppable.