Reframing Your Mindset: Rocks and Pebbles

Reframing Your Mindset: Rocks and Pebbles

You know, I always strive to maintain an optimistic outlook on life. Recently, a friend asked me how I manage to stay positive even when life throws curveballs. This conversation led me to share a concept I've been working on for my upcoming book: Rocks and Pebbles.

The essence of this philosophy is simple: everything in life comes down to rocks and pebbles. We all face adversities and challenges, but we also have blessings and victories. The trick lies in identifying which of these are rocks (the big things) and which are pebbles (the small things). The secret to a joyful life comes down to how you assign weight to these elements.

Identifying the Rocks and Pebbles

Action Step 1: Separate the Rocks from the Pebbles

Let me explain how it works. The rocks in your life represent the substantial, meaningful achievements or experiences that genuinely add value. The pebbles, on the other hand, are those everyday annoyances or minor setbacks that don’t significantly impact your life in the long run.

We all have a tendency to magnify the pebbles. Maybe it’s a minor disagreement with a coworker or an unexpected change in plans—these can easily be given rock-size power if we’re not careful. But here’s the thing: just because something isn’t going your way, doesn’t mean it deserves all your mental energy. Instead, learn to mentally separate these issues and put them in the pebble pile.

Action Step 2: Play the Positive "What If" Game

We often deceive ourselves with all the negative "what ifs." What if I lose my job? What if I don't get the sale? What if things never work out? This line of thinking clouds our judgment. But what if we flipped the script and started playing the positive what-if game?

Ask yourself: What if things do work out? What if I close that big deal? What if I achieve that dream? By reframing your internal dialogue, you’ll begin to see opportunities instead of obstacles. When I’m facing adversity, I challenge myself with these positive what-ifs to maintain a hopeful outlook, even when things seem tough.

Giving Boulder Power to the Good

Action Step 3: Focus on the Wins

Instead of obsessing over the small negatives, start counting the wins in your life. Think of the people who genuinely care about you or the skills you’ve honed over the years. Count those as boulders, and celebrate them. When you do, the pebbles will seem insignificant in comparison.

It’s like flying into a city. From up high, all the big buildings look small. When you focus on your life’s big boulders and climb atop them, the pebbles will look tiny and inconsequential. It’s much easier to move a pebble than a boulder, and shifting your mindset in this way can help you handle life’s challenges with more ease.

Handling Pebbles While Standing on Boulders

Action Step 4: Deal with the Pebbles as They Come

Just because we’ve decided to give pebbles their rightful power doesn’t mean we ignore them. We still have to deal with life’s minor annoyances, but it’s easier when we aren’t weighed down by their imagined size. Remember, it’s easier to skip a small stone across a pond than it is to push a giant boulder off a mountain.

Action Step 5: Make a Boulder List

This weekend, I challenge you to sit down and create a list of your life’s big rocks—the accomplishments, relationships, and experiences that bring you joy. Once you have that list, you’ll see how much more positive there is in your life than negative. From there, you’ll find it easier to deal with the little things that come your way.


If you want to take your team, event, or conference to the next level, book me to speak at baylorbarbee.com/pages/book-baylor. For more mindset motivation, check out my 10-minute-a-day podcast, Shark Theory, at baylorbarbee.com/pages/podcast. Mindset Matters: Let's make yours unstoppable.

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