Prioritize Yourself: Mastering the Power of Saying No

The other day, an acquaintance reached out for some consulting advice. It was one of those requests that seemed urgent and important to them, but in reality, I knew it wasn't a top priority for me. I politely declined, saying I didn’t have the time. Later, I posted a video of myself golfing, and that same acquaintance texted me, saying, “I thought you didn’t have time. Why are you out golfing?”

It got me thinking: Why do people assume that their priorities should automatically become your priorities? And more importantly, why do we often feel guilty for putting our own needs first?

The Importance of Prioritizing Yourself

Golf takes time—a good four hours at least. But here’s the thing: those hours on the golf course are some of the most important hours I spend each week. It’s my time to recharge, to step away from the demands of life, and to do something that fuels me.

I want to encourage you today to start prioritizing yourself. Too often, especially if you’re someone with a good heart, you find yourself putting your own needs on the back burner. You say yes to everyone else and no to yourself, thinking you’re doing the right thing. But the truth is, by constantly putting others first, you’re slowly burning out, and one day you’ll wake up wondering why you’re not where you want to be in life.

Reframe What Help Really Means

This isn’t to say you shouldn’t help others. Helping others is important, but it’s time to reframe what help actually means. Too often, we equate helping with giving up our own time and energy at the expense of our own well-being. We bend over backward for others, thinking we’re doing the right thing, when in reality, we’re just getting walked on.

Helping others should never come at the detriment of yourself. It’s crucial to ask yourself why you’re helping. Are you doing it out of genuine care, or are you doing it because you don’t have anything else going on? Are you avoiding your own goals and dreams by focusing on others?

The Need for a Hard Stop

There comes a point where you have to make a hard stop. You need to set boundaries and make a decision that you’re going to prioritize yourself. This isn’t about being selfish; it’s about being strategic with your time and energy so that you can be the best version of yourself.

When you start prioritizing yourself, you’ll find that you’re in a much better position to help others in a meaningful way. It’s like the old saying goes: you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Be Selfish with Your Time and Energy

The most selfless thing you can do is to be selfish with your time and energy. You owe it to yourself to be in the best shape possible—mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. And you can’t do that if you never take the time to build a solid foundation for yourself.

Think of it like cement in a cement truck. As long as it’s spinning, it never solidifies. It’s only when it’s poured out and left to sit that it hardens and becomes strong. If you’re always running around, helping everyone else, you’ll never solidify. You’ll never grow.

What Fuels You?

So, what actually fuels you? For me, it’s golf, playing Xbox, and taking my Australian Shepherd puppy for a walk. These activities may seem trivial to others, but they are essential for my mental health and well-being.

You don’t have to do what society tells you to do to find peace. Maybe meditation or yoga isn’t your thing. That’s okay. Find what works for you and make it a priority. If an activity truly refuels you, it’s worth the time.

The Power of Saying No

It’s time to stop putting yourself on the back burner. You are the most important piece to the puzzle of your life. If you fall, if you crumble, everyone who depends on you will suffer. So, take it personally when people waste your time or get upset when you’re doing something that fuels you.

As we move forward, let’s make a commitment to cut out anything that doesn’t serve our purpose or direction. This doesn’t mean cutting everyone off, but it does mean prioritizing yourself. If that means four hours of golf, so be it. If it means sitting quietly and doing nothing, so be it. Whatever helps you, whatever fuels you, make it a priority.

Remember, you are the foundation of your life. Without a strong foundation, everything else crumbles. So, protect your time, protect your energy, and prioritize yourself. The world needs the best version of you, and that starts with you taking care of yourself first.

 

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