Be the Star, Be the Help: Why Both Roles Matter in Life

This past weekend, I found myself filling in for my brother through his Lone Star Sauna Company, setting up his mobile sauna and cold plunge experience for a group celebrating someone’s 30th birthday. I was the help—hauling ice, positioning chairs, making sure every detail was right. No one knew who I was. They didn’t know I speak on stages or that I’ve been featured in big-name events. In their eyes, I was just the guy setting up.

But you know what? I took pride in that role. I gave it everything I had.

Because whether you're the keynote speaker or the person refilling the water, excellence matters. And in life, you’ll find yourself in both roles.

Being the Star Isn’t What You Think

We glamorize success. We chase titles, dream of spotlights, and assume being at the top is all accolades and admiration. But truthfully, the higher you go, the more people are watching—and not always to applaud. The spotlight doesn’t just shine; it exposes. Your flaws, your mistakes, your weaknesses—they all come into focus.

That’s why it’s so important to live up to the hype. If people are looking to you to lead, lead well. Understand the weight of responsibility and prepare accordingly. What people see in the moment is only a sliver of what goes into being “the star.”

When You’re the Help, Be Legendary

But don’t wait to be the star to start acting like one. The best people I know—the ones I talk about on this podcast—aren’t great because of the roles they have. They’re great because of the effort they give in any role.

That day, setting up chairs in the Texas sun, I reminded myself: “Even if nobody knows who I am, they’ll know I give my best.” Not for credit. Not for recognition. But because that’s who I am.

You might be in a season where you're behind the scenes, underappreciated, overlooked. Stay consistent. Stay excellent. Because what you do in the dark—the effort you give when no one’s watching—always comes to light.

Impact is Bigger Than Identity

We get so caught up in wanting to be somebody that we forget the real mission: to make somebody’s experience better.

Whether you're the one delivering the keynote or the one setting up the mic, your purpose is the same—create excellence. Build impact. Leave it better than you found it.

Every role is essential. Every contribution matters. You’re not “less than” when you’re not center stage. You’re simply part of a bigger story—and the more consistently you show up with heart and effort, the more your story grows.

Action Steps

1. Audit Your Attitude – Are you giving your best in unseen roles?

2. Shine in the Shadows – Show up with excellence even when no one is watching.

3. Lead With Purpose – Whether you're the face or the foundation, aim to make the experience better for someone else.

“Whether you’re the star or the help—be excellent in every role.”